De Todo Un Poco

Flea Markets are interesting places.

2011-05-31T12:42:00.000-07:00

This past Saturday I went with my dad and uncle to the nearby flea market that has taken over what used to be a massive hardware store.

If you have never been to a flea market, I will have you know that you can find ANYTHING, literally anything, at this type of market.

The idea is much like having a ton of garage sales all crammed under one roof. There are booths run by different individuals who come back every week to that same booth to peddle their wares. And their wares range from VHS players to bicycles to magazines to candy. Yes, people sell food in this place.

The smell of a flea market is much like that of your attic or crawlspace, if there had been a hobo living in it for the past few years. Like when you find a box of newspapers in your closet, for example, and you get the stagnant odor of old paper and possibly mold. That is just one of many stenches you will encounter at the local flea market.

Much like a garage sale, you encounter the types of people who attend garage sales. If you have had a garage sale, you know what I mean. You could live in the richest of suburban neighborhoods in the yuppiest of communities and you would still encounter the type of people who scour the newspaper listings for garage sales, hoping to find a non-functional fondue set from 1976 to make those summer driveway BBQs on mismatched lawn chairs that much more classy. Or the type of person who finds your how-did-I-end-up-with-this Budweiser bar mirror the most treasured find of all their hunting.

After visually assessing the surroundings of the flea market, I wondered to myself, then aloud to my uncle and father "Which is worse/creepier/seedier: the people who work at the flea market, or the people who frequent the flea market?" Then, after making a decision, I posed the next question "Are they worse/creepier/seedier than carnies?"

Several booths caught my eye. And when I say booths, I really just mean squares drawn with masking tape on the floor that divide the each vendor's property from the next. Although, about 80% choose to supply a tent or curtains of some sort to block sight of neighboring sellers. Many vendors are the type of people who couldn't work a normal sales job. By this, I mean that they sit watching a TV (for sale!) playing an old DVD of Full House episodes (also for sale!) with absolutely no interest in trying to get you to buy anything. Their signs, which are black sharpie scrawled on torn pieces of cardboard, exclaim GREAT DEAL!!! and ONLY ONE DOLLAR!!! You wonder if the people running the booth are the same excited people who created those hopeful signs. Their facial expression is apathy, without a care to be there or sell goods. At this point, right now, their only thought is focusing on merely existing, to just being there and breathing.

Other vendors, however, take it to the next level. One in particular, let's call him Cowboy Ned, with his grey ZZ Top beard falling over his shirt and cutoff jean shorts (for sale?) , was sleeping. My dad and uncle looked over some things of his, like some mechanical doodad (for sale!) that only dads and uncles know what it could possibly be used for since they probably had six of them in their house in 1961. We picked things up, looked them over, and put them back down again, all without a stir from Cowboy Ned, who uncomfortably slumped in his metal chair with nothing to lean his head on.

That's another thing. There is so much junk and distraction that you could be looking at stuff in a booth and not even realize that you are standing right next to the vendor. It is as though they lurk in the shadows and pounce when you least expect. Some human-like things like dolls and mannequins start to make you edgy, when you begin to wonder if that doll in the corner is going to start trying to sell you some belt buckles made out of lead.

At one point in our shopping excursion, we passed by a man playing some indistinguishable tunes on his guitar, while a woman danced. The woman, possibly pushing 100 years old, was wearing a flowing multicolored dress and a red cowboy hat (for sale!) and moving off-beat to the guitar strums as she greeted passing customers with "Hello!" "How do you do!" and "Good evening!" It should be noted that it was noon.

The things people are selling, and the quantities in which they are selling them, are unimaginable. You have not one, not two, but 60 pairs of gardening gloves? How did you come across that many? Did you collect them? Who collects gardening gloves? Some people don't just sell old things that they found in their basement, their attic, the garbage cans, or other garage sales, but instead sell NEW things. Not good quality new things, but knockoffs of new things. Like "Nicke" shoes and "Calvin Cline" underwear. Again, in cases like these it is best to not ask questions.

You wonder if the $100 mattresses sold by vendor D-6 are the reason why the market is in fact called a "flea" market. After seeing so many things of weird origin, and metal objects like knives intended for food use that probably contain unimaginable amounts of lead, my mind wanders to the horrific and maybe not-so-unlikely origins of these things. I turn to my dad and say that if you committed a crime, this would be the easiest place to get rid of evidence. Cash exchange, object never to be seen again. What are those, some bloodstained leather gloves? For only $2? I'll take 'em!

One vendor is even selling Thin Mint cookies. In jest, my dad says we should look for the hidden Girl Scout's body. A joke with serious afterthoughts.

Speaking of food, the Flea Market even has a food court in the back, selling the type of food you'd see at a movie theater or skating rink. Soft pretzels, popcorn and hot dogs are some of the many unhealthy options offered. As we walk past, a man walks up to the cashier and says "Now, did I hear you announce this morning that you were having $2 burgers for lunch?" One might ignore such a comment until you think about it little more in depth: how long has this man been here? He says "this morning" as though it were more than an hour ago. Has he been waiting all morning for flea market burgers? Considering that entering the flea market costs $1, could he possibly have paid that dollar to have access to flea market burgers? How good could flea market burgers possibly be? What kind of meat are those burgers? Where IS that girl scout?!

Female writers are ugly

2011-05-10T11:23:00.000-07:00

This is hilarious.

hurt vs. injured

2011-04-02T16:44:00.001-07:00

"So are you hurt or injured? Hurt means you can play. Injured means you can't. If someone steps on my foot, I am hurt. If my bone is sticking out of my thigh, then I am injured."--Eric

SHOUT!

2011-04-02T12:31:00.000-07:00

GET OUT OF MY SHIRT, STAIN! Oh, you didn't mean that "shout?"

Hey, Idiot.

2011-03-31T14:59:00.000-07:00

Hey Idiot,

They're called U-turns. Not "four-points-in-the-freaking-middle-of-the-road-turns."

Data crunching as art

2011-03-01T15:40:00.000-08:00

A couple years ago, Wired.com featured an article about artist Aaron Koblin, who uses data to create beautiful visual art.

While many people would see lists of numbers and data as dull and mundane, Koblin proves them wrong with exceptional masterpieces compiling data into thought-provoking pieces.

My current desktop background has been one of Koblin's Flight Pattern pieces for quite some time. The graceful beauty of the lines representing flight patterns in 24 hours outline the continental United States and show the power of technology and travel.

He has also done some music videos, one of which I am a huge fan, called The Wilderness Downtown. It is the interactive video project for Arcade Fire's single "We Used to Wait." Utilizing Google Maps to animate the viewer's childhood neighborhood, it creates a sentimental touch that isn't expected in a data-filled world.

http://www.thewildernessdowntown.com/

His project, Ten Thousand Cents, (http://www.tenthousandcents.com/) puts new meaning to the phrase E Pluribus Unum (From Many One). He divided a picture of a ten-dollar bill into tiny little pieces, then asked people (for one penny each) to re-draw the segment that was sent to them. All the tiny pieces, when put together, look just like a ten-dollar bill, but represent 10,000 different laborer's work.

A project similar to the aforementioned crowdsourced piece is The Sheep Market, where participants were paid to draw "sheep facing to the left. The result, thousands of cartoon sheep, is both funny and unique. Check it out at http://www.thesheepmarket.com/.

To see more of Aaron Koblin's works, go to his website at http://www.aaronkoblin.com/.

Wait...WHAT?!

2011-03-01T12:36:00.000-08:00

Today I was catching up on some missed episodes on the cwtv.com website when I saw this:

Take a closer look...Vampire Diaries wants viewers to catch WHAT?

"Wanna go for a walk?!"

2011-02-23T19:13:00.000-08:00

So my uncle sent me this link of a super extreme hike in Spain, joking that I should do it the next time I head to Spain.

http://www.angelfire.com/ak2/intelligencerreport/scariest_path.html

The 2:18-2:40 mark is my favorite.

I responded to my uncle by saying "knowing my daredevil dad, we've done similar or far worse feats on our family vacations."

It's true...my brother hopped onto an unsupported 40 foot rock pillar at age 12 at The Fiery Furnace in Utah. My mom was freaking out.

Or there was the time my dad and my brother went hiking and stashed their water bottles throughout the desert to retrieve later...then took an entirely different route home, without access to water for several hours in high heat. This ended in their bursting into the closest convenience store at the end of the hike and standing in the beverage aisle, chugging several full bottles of Gatorade without taking a breath. Between bottles, they managed to gasp out to the sales clerk "don't worry...we promise...to pay for these."

Or...there was the time we went surfing in shark-infested waters in Kauai. Or that same day, when Eric and my dad went surfing straight into a large coral formation, emerging from the saltwater with bleeding shins and wounded limbs, their faces plastered with prideful grins from the awesome wave they had caught.

Or there was the time in 2009 we went running down scree in Glacier National Park to see who could get to the parking lot first.

Or there was the time Eric and I climbed into a cave in Ohio only to find hundreds of bats sleeping in the darkness, and I rushed out of there so quickly that I smacked my head on the cave ceiling, literally chopping the hair on my crown off, and leaving bleeding gash.

So really, I could totally see myself doing this.

A homophone to think about!

2011-02-06T18:24:00.000-08:00

I have discovered a new homophone (group of words that sound the same but mean different things)!
Grimmest.
Grimaced!

The end.

Antonio, Barcelona, Carmen, it's as easy as 1, 2, 3!

2011-02-03T14:14:00.000-08:00

The "spelling alphabet" is an alphabet used by the army or navy or radio people to communicate the spelling of things without them being confused for other letters.
Like "d" and "b" sound the same when read aloud, but won't be mistaken if you say "delta" and "bravo."

You most likely have heard of these in movies before. Or, if you are like me, you recognize them from the N64 video game "Rainbow Six."

What intrigues me is that in other languages, the words are different. I mean, obviously Spaniards aren't going to use the "alpha, bravo, charlie" alphabet we use, so they use their "antonio, barcelona, carmen" one. I saw this on wikipedia while browsing links from the creepy "numbers stations" article due to a recent Fringe episode I saw, and it was pretty interesting to see what words they use to refer to the letters of the alphabet. They seem to have an obsession with first names and cities, whereas we use...random stuff.
See the chart at the link below...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spelling_alphabet

I seriously JUST shoveled.

2011-02-01T13:18:00.001-08:00

My driveway is being covered by The Fast and the Furious: Snowkyo Drift.

I AM A CUBE FIST MAN!

2011-01-24T09:33:00.000-08:00

I love this scene from Nick's Victorious.

GIFSoup

Book Trailers

2011-01-12T13:48:00.000-08:00

Sometimes new books put out "trailers" to be able to advertise them on tv. Usually these trailers consist of a narration and some title graphics and pictures.

I have never seen a book trailer be nearly as deceiving as this one, where they make a whole cast of characters and waste three minutes of your time until you realize it is a book! Not even a show or movie.

Although, this trailer is so bad, with such horrible acting and a typical plot, that I can't imagine anyone actually wanting to see it. Er, read it.

Favorite parts:
"If you screw this up, you're going back to juvie. ENTIENDES?!"
and
"Hey. I'm throwing a party Friday night if you wanna come. You do party, right?"

Excuse me.

2010-12-12T15:23:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I drift from my original intentions of this blog. The title (in your natural habitat), as some may remember, referred to stupid people in their natural habitat. You may recall this from my story of a crazy patchwork-patterned-pantsed man who frolicked across Michigan avenue. If not, look it up.

Now I'd like to share with you a story.

The funniest thing I heard yesterday was this phrase: "excuse me."

On its own, it isn't a particularly funny phrase, but in the context, it was.

I was standing in a very crowded Urban Outfitters in the front of the store near a display of wacky gifts and books. After looking at some books at one table (One was the Snuggie Sutra about getting intimate under your favorite sleeved blanket) I moved on to the table of assorted novelties, which included test tube shot glasses, color-your-own piggy banks and a Fischer Price plastic record player. As I flipped through a Star Wars flipbook, a 20-something man behind me said "excuse me."

He was reaching for a hamburger phone next to me, mounted atop a pyramid of boxes of the Juno prop.

What really got me was that this man could not wait. He could not bear one more second of me standing between him and his beloved hamburger phone. It was all too urgent that I step aside as he reached for this communication device to show his mom/his friend/his brother. He needed it right then and there. No, he did not say "excuse me, I REALLY need to look at this hamburger phone while you browse through that sci-fi flip book. I cannot feign interest in this "12 days of Christmas drinking games" kit as you inadvertently block me from this desired hunk of junk-food shaped plastic speaker."

But he did. It was all implied in the tone of "excuse me."

http://www.urbanoutfitters.com/urban/catalog/productdetail.jsp?id=15259492&itemdescription=true&navAction=jump

Airline Ticket Prices and how they are different

2010-11-24T16:00:00.000-08:00

I found this article online and laughed out loud for a solid 3 minutes. And I am just talking about the first picture of the airplane.

http://www.cracked.com/funny-4900-air-travel/

A wondrous discovery

2010-11-16T10:18:00.001-08:00

Recently I bought a new computer for work use, since my old one sounds like a car engine when it is on, and suffice it to say may not work in a month.

Unfortunately, unless I wanna buy one of those 7 inch baby screen laptops, all new Windows computers have Windows 7.

To that, I say, "Change is bad."

Today, though, while doing some work on my new laptop, I made this exciting discovery. So exciting that I dedicate a blog post solely to the "show desktop" button.

You have no idea how much easier this makes life for me.

However, it took me about 10 minutes in this new version of PAINT to be able to make that image.

I crack myself up.

2010-09-24T07:26:00.001-07:00

My friend started a Facebook group about the mall near us called "Randhurst"
(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Randhurst_Mall). It was called "admit it, you still think randhurst is the shit." However, it was pretty much a joke because randhurst sucks big time. Or at least, it did. They recently knocked it down.

But when it still was around, it was a huuuuge hangout for middle-schoolers (when I was a kid), and I remember my mom dropping me off there with friends to kill a few hours, then she'd pick us up. Looking back, though, it was super lame. I mean, Carson Pirie Scott was the main anchor department store. Yikes, talk about a recipe for disaster. The stores in there never seemed to survive very long, and half of the storefronts were empty because they just weren't in business.

The place was so old it had A BOMB SHELTER. My dad said he remembered it as like, the only mall around when he was a kid. Think about how disappointing that would have been. Actually, it probably had its glory days in the 60s and 70s.

But in the 90s, half of the mall was composed of abandoned store fronts. It even had a food court...then it completely closed and it was as pathetic looking as those used-to-be-pay-phone-areas at hotels and public buildings. You know, where it's all not lit up and there are exposed wires poking out of the wall, longing to be needed for something.

Just read this excerpt from the aforementioned wikipedia article about the decade of the 90's at randhurst:

In 1990, Bergner's - which had acquired Carson Pirie Scott in 1989 - closed their Randhurst store, allowing the Carson Pirie Scott anchor to move into the grander ex-Wieboldt's building while JCPenney took over the former Carson Pirie Scott anchor. Wickes Furniture briefly occupied the Spiess anchor, until Circuit City and Old Navy took over the space in 1995; meanwhile, a new Filene's Basement minor anchor occupied the majority of the "bazaar" level. This brought Randhurst to its greatest level of occupancy ever - three major anchors and four minor anchors - and an all-time peak of 1,400,000 square feet (130,000 m2) of retail space.
The next ten years, however, would be much more difficult for Randhurst. The construction and expansion of multiple shopping malls in the area, especially the improvements to Woodfield Mall in nearby Schaumburg, devastated Randhurst's shopping base, as did the local population's general change in shopping tastes. The mall's management tried to compensate by updating the mall's decor and adding new Jewel-Osco and Home Depot stores at the perimeter of the mall (the Home Depot replacing the old Randhurst Ice Arena, Wards Auto Center and a Child World Store); despite this, foot traffic fell, and stores began disappearing from the mall at a rapid rate. This included the Filene's Basement minor anchor, which closed in 1999 (along with three other Chicago-area Filene's Basement stores).

Yes, that's right, there was actually a basement floor COMPELTELY UNUSED. And for those of you who don't know, Woodfield Mall is like, HUGE. I thought it was weird how there seemed to be so many out-of-towners at that mall all the time, even from other countries. Then I realized that they were visiting Chicago, then came all the way out to Schaumburg to go to Woodfield. People from OTHER COUNTRIES were coming to Woodfield during their vacation to Chicago: it was that special.

I was looking at the group the other day, and I saw a wall post I put on there that made me laugh out loud. God, I'm so clever.

"I like how after Katie just made this a few weeks ago that we have two FEWER members today. People joined it for like twelve days and quit. Those quitters will prolly end up being franchise owners at Randhurst someday."

Those friendly Americans!

2010-08-22T13:21:00.000-07:00

I always wondered about a Brit's perspective of America. And after some searching, here it is...

An article about a man's opinion of the American way of life, the attitude and the culture.
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/03/books/review/Dyer-t.html

A list of the top 50 things this writer found excellent about America...
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2002/jun/11/usa.comment

Craigslist: A place for the everyman who just wants ice cream cargo drops.

2010-08-18T15:27:00.000-07:00

Craigslist has gotten a bad reputation. All it wants to do is be a meeting place, a communal online bulletin board for those seeking needs, or those offering them.

Sometimes these offers are for jobs, furniture, actors, models, assistance, etc.

We have needs, people! Needs that need to be fulfilled! Needs like brownies and ice cream!

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/bal/1589192642.html

He just wants some ice cream and brownies! Is that so much to ask? When you get snowed in and have a dire craving for some snacks and have an excess amount of money to offer for it, WHY THE HELL NOT? People get hungry. Can you just, like, drop off some food for the guy? I mean, however you wanna get it there. Like cargo drops are good. Oh wait, he specifically asked for no cargo drops. So, could you just hand-deliver them?

Or this man, who just wants someone to bedazzle jackets and dance and do non-homoerotic things to the song "Beat It" by Michael Jackson.

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/phi/1755781713.html

He is NOT GAY. Not gay. I mean, he's gotten with hot chicks as recently as just now. He said so.

So anytime anyone has a very strange need or want, they go to this site. And you can see their awesomeness right here:

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/all/

No, that's not poorly translated: you just don't know your native language

2010-08-18T15:22:00.000-07:00

So I have been applying for some jobs online. Some in Spain, some in the USA.

Of course, when going on a Spanish job site, one expects that the "click here for English" button will inevitably mis-translate a lot of things on the page, or at least make them awkwardly written.

After completing a Spanish online application, (which, by the way, has been the easiest of all applications I have done online, INCLUDING THOSE OF MY HOME COUNTRY), the page read

Please remember that if you are interested in applying for a job, it will not be necessary that you fill in all the fields because once you enter your email address and your password our system will accede to the information.

And I was all "ha! Accede! They translated that from 'access' which is 'acceder' in Spanish...and it resulted in this non-word!"

Then I looked it up on an English dictionary site. And it really IS a word. That means access. So I guess I just don't know my own language very well.

Wanna have sex? But not babies? Try birth control!

2010-08-13T10:57:00.001-07:00

Current TV, a news channel for the younger generation, has this great show called Infomania. It critiques the online and television media in a hilarious way.

One segment is called Target Women, which is hosted by the very funny Sarah Haskins. In it, she studies commercials and ads made for women, and breaks them apart until the viewer is left to realize that they really are a bunch of rubbish.

Each Target Women has a theme, and this one is on birth control pills (obviously only for women). It really makes you think twice during the commercials, and how much the media dumbs down women.

Check it out...

Something new in teen drama...for once

2010-08-11T20:58:00.000-07:00

As I have written before, teen drama shows are all the same. They will all say that they are groundbreaking, new, and fresh. They will always say that they "tackle tough issues." But those issues are always the same: divorce, rape, drinking, sex, drugs, being gay, eating disorders, etc.

Degrassi: The Next Generation debuted its 10th season a couple weeks ago, premiering a new episode each night, making it the show to look forward to every single night.

Being a fan from season one of the Next Generation, I have noticed a lot of repeats in this season. They seemed to be running out of story lines. A girl has weight issues, a girl goes from dork to cool, a perfectionist tries for her dream job, etc.

But tonight they showed something I have never seen before in teen shows, and I have seen a lot. A character on the show, Adam, revealed to be a transgender.

Now, it was pretty obvious it was a female actress from the beginning. Especially since it is one I recognized from another Canadian show, "Life with Derek" (Canadians recycle their actors a lot). But the actress played "Adam" who all the other characters seemed to be convinced was a male.

Then in this episode, Adam revealed that he was born in a female's body, but has related to more of a male identity since he was four or five.

I happened to see a documentary on transgenders in one of my communication courses this past year, so I already knew a bit about it, and came to understand this lifestyle a bit more than before.

This is a two-part episode that concludes tomorrow night, and I am excited to see what happens. In part one, the school finds out Adam was born female, and tomorrow night the previews show that Adam dresses and goes as his former self, Gracie, to try to put a stop to the teasing and torture at school. But it looks like Adam is super uncomfortable as a female, and it will be hard on him.

At the end of tonight's episode, the actress who plays Adam does a PSA directing viewers to the PFLAG.org site for more information.

Here is a trailer for all the episodes this week, so it only shows a smidge of the Adam storyline...

Taming the PG-13

2010-08-10T22:33:00.000-07:00

I am a huge fan of SKINS (a risque British teen drama). When I saw this ad for EckoRed shoes with Vanessa Hudgens, it was verrrry very familiar to a SKINS ad for the first season.

Although, EckoRed is advertising to tweens in the Disney-watching market. And Skins is for high schoolers who watch "real teen shows" with druggies, uncensored swearing, sex, and otherwise scandalous material.

So clearly, if they got their inspiration from SKINS, then they toned down this commercial a bit.

What do you think?

and the SKINS promo I am talking about...

But see what I mean? photos, fun times, DJs, people dressed in animal costumes, dancing, writing on mirrors with lipstick, and outright craziness! So similar!!!

Career vs. Job

2010-08-10T15:45:00.001-07:00

I was reading an article on the Matadornetwork.com website about racism in Moscow, (http://matadorabroad.com/should-people-of-color-go-to-russia/) and the author's bio intrigued me.

It says:

In 1992, the guidance counselor at Buster's high school distributed forms to students so they could indicate preferences for Career Day. Buster refused to take part, declaring to the principal, "I don't want a career. The point of education shouldn't be job placement." He has spent the past 17 years avoiding anything resembling a career. He's collected money from the federal government to learn obscure languages of the Caspian littoral. He's taken money to do drugs before being loaded into an MRI machine. He has read over 1,000 surveys filled out by women with breast implants. He's now in 23rd grade and spends most of his time reading library books and begging for money from various institutes, foundations and societies. He still hasn't given in.

This really made me think. That is a very good point the author makes, about education perceived as a means to an end, the end being a career. And I think other generations before us have always seen it as that way: you go to school to go to college to get a job to support your family.

Times have changed.

In one of my communications classes a few years ago, the professor was describing characteristics of our generation. Due to our exposure to technology and the internet, we (our generation) multi-task a ton, and almost can't get by without doing so.

Another characteristic that is new and different from our generation compared to others is that we now look for jobs for pleasure rather than paycheck. Our parents or even their parents used to look for a career to be able to pay for having a family and luxuries or day-to-day needs. They maybe even hated their jobs, but it didn't matter because they had a family to feed. Now, we care about ourselves even more and cannot dedicate our time and efforts into something that doesn't provide us with happiness. We want to do something we like.

Evidence of this is our generation's more "job" oriented idea of work as opposed to "career." Someone working with my dad (a man in his late 20s) had once said that this was definitely not his career. It was his job.

My aunt tells us, frustratingly, that she has to job-train so often with this new crop of people entering the workforce because they come and go once they find something better. No longer are they settling for their first job--they are constantly on a quest to do something better.

Perhaps that is why careerbuilder.com is so successful. If you are unfamiliar, this job-finding website sets itself apart in its advertising campaign by clarifying that they are not for those searching for a new job, but for those wanting to build their resume, and potentially might quit from their new jobs once they find something more fulfilling.

Obviously I am interested in this job vs. career discussion because I do fall into that generation that seeks more. But also, as a recent college graduate, I am looking for a job. Not a career, but a job. I need money and experience at this stage in my life, but I am definitely not looking to do some of these jobs for my entire life. At my grad party, every guest asked me "what do you plan to do eventually" or "what is your ultimate dream career?" There were those who responded to my answer with "that's okay that you don't know, you have time to think" but there were also those who responded with "you better go to grad school to figure that out."

I don't have to figure anything out. I don't care if I don't know what I want yet. I can get a job to collect some money first, and find interests later. I will always love math and writing. I will always love acting goofy while working with kids but also being taken seriously. I want to own a little shop of something, I don't know, maybe antiques, but I hate customer service. I like cooking but don't like dealing with picky customers.

I will do what I want. Right now, that is applying for every job I am qualified for, even if it may not be my future career.

Diablo Cody interviews Adam Brody

2010-08-08T11:34:00.000-07:00

Diablo Cody (writer and director of Juno, Jennifer's Body) sits down with actor Adam Brody (The OC), and it is a gem.

Some people find Diablo Cody's dialogue (in her movies, that is...I don't think people really talk to her in person) annoying, but I find this interview pretty hilarious. Especially the "Tiki Ten" rapidfire questioning at the end. But the whole interview is great.

Have a look...

Not birthday wishes.

2010-08-07T00:44:00.000-07:00

Facebook notified me of this on my feed today...

Except, neither are birthday wishes. Can people post on my wall without the yearly obligation of a birthday notification being their motivation? CAN I NOT HAVE FRIENDS, FACEBOOK!?

Creepy Video Games

2010-06-08T21:25:00.000-07:00

Remember that post I put on here about things that scared me as a child?

Certain mystery video games were definitely on there.

I recently saw this and had to laugh:

See more funny videos and Technology Videos at Today's Big Thing.

I have played the Sherlock Holmes game series before. Not this exact one, but the one before it.

Now you know what I mean by the creep factor.

People with Headphones

2010-04-19T15:19:00.000-07:00

Two music videos I love, featuring people wearing headphones.

Very touching and sweet, "The First Day of my Life" by Bright Eyes.

Very funny and simple, "Short Skirt, Long Jacket" by Cake.
(I can't embed it...so you have to go to the link)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OF43shMjs0o

Airlines lose luggage AND android heads.

2010-04-18T13:40:00.001-07:00

I was meandering through the internet and came across the name "Philip K. Dick," who is a novelist and short story writer whose works have been adapted to many films.
Examples include Next, Paycheck, Total Recall, Blade Runner, and A Scanner Darkly. If you don't know/haven't heard of any of these films, then it's because I am a huge nerd and you are not.

So I wanted to read more about him and went to the Wikipedia page of Philip K. Dick:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philip_k_dick

There, I found he had a creepy-as-hell android made in his likeness. Not so strange for a guy who wrote about alternate universes and crazy governmental control of society.

There was even a super creepy picture of this android:

In the description, it says an American West Airlines employee misplaced the head of the android in 2006, and it hasn't been found since. First luggage, then android heads? Those bastards.

The Package...Jin's Package

2010-04-13T14:34:00.001-07:00

I haven't posted a lot on here lately, so I hope this makes up for it.

I was watching LOST, the episode "The Package" and I laughed out loud at this one scene....

Sun is in her hotel room, after a night with Jin. She hides him in the bathroom when two thugs knock at the door. After the guests see two champagne glasses, they suspect someone is there. They open the bathroom door and there is Jin, shirtless and not afraid to show it.

Hellllllooooooo Jin.

The more mysterious Europe

2010-04-10T13:39:00.000-07:00

I was on stumbleupon.com, which takes you to random websites on the internet, and the first site it brought me to was for pictures of Europe. How timely!
(the site is http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2NUFRp/www.golberz.com/2010/03/breathtaking-photos-of-europe.html)

But of all the pictures they show, which are labeled as "breathtaking," I must say none of them look that special except this one, taken at night in the Czech Republic.

Doesn't this one just look more interesting and attractive than, say, this one:

I think the beauty is in the lights, the mystery, the intrigue that the first photo has over the second. I don't want to see a city for its buildings or monuments. I want to see it for its history, its people, its personality. And that, I believe, is what this first photograph eerily displays.

Chicago Trivia time

2010-03-05T10:32:00.000-08:00

I learned some stuff while visiting the etymology page of Chicago stuff at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Etymologies_of_place_names_in_Chicago,_Illinois

I am a huge fan of trivia, and try to incorporate it into my daily conversations. I cannot wait to toss some of these in...

Chicago is from the Miami-Illinois word "Shikaakwa," which means "wild onion." So to all you haters who say I am super Chicago-y when I say chi-CAAA-go instead of Chi-CAW-go, you are the one pronouncing it wrong.

George Street--Settler Sam George sighted the last bear in Chicago at the corner of Adams and LaSalle Streets in 1834. The bear was promptly killed by another settler, John Sweeney.

Going canadian, eh?

2010-02-23T07:49:00.001-08:00

On a video I was watching on youtube making fun of canadians, someone posted this comment...

"Oh, you were making fun of Canadians? I couldn't hear you over my heath-care benefits."

The secret guide to men

2010-02-23T07:28:00.001-08:00

I found it, yes IT. THE way to strike up conversations with cute boys. IT is mentioning your enjoyment of the band "TV on the Radio." Guaranteed success. I also scored 4 free MP3 albums in the process.

Ok Go, how I love thee

2010-01-11T17:23:00.000-08:00

OK Go has always had good concepts for videos, in my opinion. Sure, they became popular with their dancing on treadmills video, but before that they had "OK Go in the backyard dancing" for the song "A Million Ways." Then they had the motion camera for "Do What you want" which was cool looking but I can see how it might get sickening after a while. Then they had WTF, with the trail affect, which they utilized very well.

Now, the Notre Dame marching band. When I first heard the idea for the video, "we're making a vid with the marching band" I thought "well, sounds pretty boring" but then I thought they would use the band for formations and such, and it would be kind of cool, but still nothing I hadn't seen before. But they finally put up the video, and I have to say it surpassed my expectations. Pretty cool.

And the song is awesome, too.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJKythlXAIY

Man, I want to go to their concert(s) in France and England. Why must they be on a Tuesday, huh? Can't you be on a friday? a saturday, perhaps? Anything but a tuesday.

Flour is a bit old-fashioned

2010-01-02T21:51:00.000-08:00

I was watching Jimmy Fallon last night (a rerun), and besides the amazing reveal from Ian Somerhalder (BOONE IS BACK), I thought this particular joke about flour was funny.

He apparently does a segment where he writes thank you notes to either people or inanimate objects to make a joke. My favorite was this:

"Thank you, flour, for keeping the paper sack container business alive. Don't wanna change your packaging, huh? Gonna keep it in a sack? Whenever I buy you, I feel like I'm Charles Ingalls buying something from Olson's Store on credit."

Next time, Jimmy, it's Olson's Mercantile.

Realization

2009-12-16T10:17:00.001-08:00

I just made a discovery while visiting the Skins e4 website (a british tv show and channel). There was an ad for Dove deodorant, but it was spray on.

And I realized: Europeans use spray deodorant! And Americans use stick deodorant! Seriously, how many Americans do you know have spray deodorant?

I thought it was interesting.

sadly, that's all I have to say on my 100th post.

Mashup suggestion

2009-11-17T01:01:00.000-08:00

Someone needs to make a fantastic mashuup of "Eminence front" by the Who and "19-200 remix" by Gorillaz.

DJs, get on that.

If anyone knows of this in existence, please tell me. This is meant for music history.

But I DID find what I was looking for!

2009-11-12T18:22:00.001-08:00

When I was in Spain, I heard several times the song "I still haven't found what I'm looking for" by the band U2...only it was in Spanish.

I looked online a hundred times for this version of Bono singing Spanish to no avail.

Then I searched today, and found the exact translation of the title (TODAVIA NO ENCONTRE LO QUE ESTOY BUSCANDO) and alas! I found it on Youtube.

I first heard it on the busride to Barcelona, and I was humming along until I realized the lyrics were in Spanish. I really wanted that version.

Well, I thought it was U2 performing it on the bus radio, but it was actually a band called "Airbag" that covered it. But, it was a noisy bus and the instrumental aspect of the song sounded the same, so SUE me if I thought the following was performed by U2.

Ahh. I am SO glad I FINALLY FOUND THISSSS!

Spinnin' Discs

2009-11-12T15:15:00.001-08:00

I came across the existence of DJ Hero via the Bleepbloopblog www.bleepbloopblog.tumblr.com . I am a huge fan of Jeff Rubin from CollegeHumor, and thus a huge fan of this videogame blog (it's one word now, he said it!).

I went a-searchin' online since I knew a complete song listing was available for Rock Bandhttp://www.rockband.com/music/songs .

I came across this: http://www.djhero.com/music , where you can listen to all of the mixes from the new game.
All I have to say is: GENIUS.

Beck's "loser" and Eminem's "My Name is" is a good one, as well as the mix of Third Eye Blind's "Semi-Charmed Life" and Jackson 5's "I Want You Back."

And, always a fan of HOVA, Jay-Z's "IZZO" and Jackson 5's "I want you back" (which Jay already sampled in his song) is great, too.
Enjoy.

Scariest Things I Encountered as a Kid

2009-11-01T13:29:00.000-08:00

I saw this top ten list on wired.com, of the top ten things scariest things that they watched as a kid.

http://www.wired.com/geekdad/2009/10/the-10-scariest-things-i-watched-as-a-kid/

I was reading through it and decided to follow suit, stretching to movies and games.

10. Gollum from the animated Hobbit movie
Yes, this is just like on Andrew Cardon's list. As I read that, I remembered this exactly. We own this on VHS, and I remember not wanting to watch it as much as my older brother did because this scared the crap out of me. So sinister, so eerie and evil.

9. The black goo from Little Nemo: Adventures in Slumberland
Man, I haven't seen this movie in years. What I remember is a little boy who sleeps a lot on a bed that is a bit like a magic carpet that takes him places. This movie had everything: a (literally) giant train conductor with a toy train, a seemingly drunk clown (voiced by Mickey Rooney) and a flying bed. There are happy moments and adventurous moments (I think I remember a train driving through his home at one point, but perhaps that was another movie). There are also moments that are scary as hell! Especially this one part where this black goo takes over in a sinister way...much like the monster from LOST, but animated version and more liquidy.
(scroll to 4:25)

8. The wheelies in Return to OZ
One night in the nineties, I was watching the Disney Channel. Apparently, back then, something as sinister as Return to OZ was able to find screen time on this channel. If you are unfamiliar, Return to OZ is a sequel to the famous Wizard movie, starring a young Fairuza Balk as Dorothy. The girl is in a mental institution for her crazy claims of going to OZ ("treated" by electro-shock a la One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest), she ends up going back to OZ and encounters a headless queen and these crazy wheelie things that are the nightmarish equivalent to the flying monkeys. The fact that this was (I think) made for children is scary in itself.

7. The ghosts in Nancy Drew and the Haunted Mansion computer game
First off, let me just say how much I love the ND computer games. They are tons of fun and still are challenging to me now, years after I first discovered them at my library. Well, I remember back when I first started playing these, and I think the Haunted Mansion one may have been the 2nd or 3rd one I ever played. NONE were as scary as this. Seriously. Of course, because it is in a haunted mansion, there has to be scary stuff that happens. In the first-person game, you walk through the house and click on various interactive objects. However, sometimes in this game, you would be walking through the hall and a ghostly image of a woman would appear in a mirror accompanied by an eerie wail! Or I remember one distinct part on the staircase when I was looking at a picture frame and a booming voice yelled something, amidst the otherwise quiet game soundtrack. Scared the crap out of me.

6. The floating bodies in the Titanic: adventure out of time game
Speaking of video games, this awesome Titanic game also puts you in first person, in a flashback of someone from the 40s who tries to go back in time and prevent what happened in the ship's final hours. It has really great graphics, and (trivia!) these graphics are actually used in many documentaries about the ship, because they are such accurate replications of what it looked like! Anywho. Towards the end of the game, when the clock begins to tick to the ship's fate, you hit the iceberg and there is a short montage of people screaming on the ship and then there is a scene, underwater, of two dead bodies of drowned victims. Seriously?! I thought this was rated E for everyone!!! Actually, I think it was released way ahead of those ratings. But it was ahead of its time and still is fun today. PS: I completely forgot about the guy who dies in the Turkish Bath by electrocution! THAT WAS SCARY AS HELL!

5. The entire movie of Titanic
Speaking of the famous ship, this movie was pretty traumatizing for me as well. The movie came out when I was in 3rd grade or so, but because of all the hype, I insisted on watching the movie. All was fine during the intermission when we switched VHS tapes (!) but after taking out the second tape, I remember being scared to go to sleep. I mean, I was like, 9, and I just watched a movie where thousands of people either froze to death or drowned. I remember that month after the movie: no sweet dreams at all. Yes, I was sitting up in bed for nearly a month after watching this movie ONCE, due to the traumatizing deaths.

4. The doll girl from the one episode of Are You Afraid of the Dark
The Tale of the Doll Maker was one of the most creepy episodes of this show. Hell, the opening credits to this show scared me alone. But I have rewatched a lot of these episodes recently, and a lot have lost the scary factor. But, this one is still creepy. I think full-grown adults would think this is creepy. A girl gets trapped in a doll house and she slowly gets turned into a doll. The part where she pulls out her now-porcelain arm is scary as crap! But, in the end, all is happy again. PS: (Trivia!) Joanna Garcia is one of the campfire crew...

3. A series of scary story books that I can't recall the name of...
I used to read a ton of scary stories as a kid. This series was my favorite, because they weren't about zombies, vampires, or ghosts, but instead they were about various other creepy things. In one story, a girl gets rid of mice in her house by pushing the mouse cage (live mouse inside) into a trash can filled with water, then puts on the lid until it drowns. Eventually, the girl is attacked by a multitude of mice, who corner her to her pool, then proceed to crawl on the auto-close cover for the pool. She dies in a larger version of the way she kills the mice.
In another story, a smart student at school notices a drop in grades. Since the teachers grade on a bell curve, there is a benefit to the okay students if everyone else is dumber. A kid catches on to this and concocts a spray that causes people's brain power to drop dramatically, making them stupid and therefore causing them to die in absurd ways (like not being able to avoid oncoming traffic). The main character had allergies so she never inhaled the spray, but in the end she stupidly takes medicine, clearing up her nostrils and causing her to inhale the poison. She dies by walking into oncoming traffic.
But even though they were creepy and scary, they were enjoyable. If only I could remember what they were called!

2. The illustrations in the book "Scary Stories to tell in the dark."
Again, I loved scary stories. But these books creeped me out. The stories weren't even that sinister, but the drawings sure were. Their watery, ink-dripped sketches had such an unearthly feel that I felt scared just holding the books when I was alone. Someone ALWAYS had to be in the room with me. You know, in case those pictures came to life.

1. The POD PEOPLE from The Invasion of the Bodysnatchers (1978)
I didn't even see the movie in its entirety but I remember the distinct fear that I felt after seeing part of it on TV. Pods of aliens that ate people in a mucusy shell? SCARY. The hollow, throaty scream of the aliens as they point at their next victims? NIGHTMARISH. Looking back, though, I wonder if I was more scared of the aliens, or the macabre mug of Jeff Goldblum.

Halloween Playlist!!!

2009-10-30T17:13:00.000-07:00

Yes, I love many kinds of music.

This is evident in this Halloween playlist I made for the October holiday.

Even if you don't share my EXACT tastes, I know you'll find some good tunes here.

Scarecrow--Beck

I'm Your Boogie Man--KC and The Sunshine Band

Fresh Blood--The Eels

Moondance--Van Morrison

Werewolves of London--Warren Zevon

Black River Killer--Blitzen Trapper

Perhaps Vampires a bit strong but...--Arctic Monkeys

Lucretia MacEvil--Blood Sweat and Tears

Ghost Riders in the Sky--Blues Brothers (I think it's better than the Johnny Cash version)

Season of the witch--Dr. John (again from Blues Brothers, right when they're driving through the swamp. Much more sinister than the Donovan version, and perfect for a Halloween party!)

Tombstone Blues--Bob Dylan

Mack the Knife--Bobby Darin (sure, the tune sounds pleasant, but he IS singing about a serial killer!)

Ain't No Rest for the Wicked--Cage the Elephant (so catchy!)

The Devil Went Down to Georgia--Charlie Daniels Band

Twilight Zone Theme song

Cemeteries of London--Coldplay

Strange Brew--Cream

Bad Moon Rising--Creedence Clearwater Revival (Um, EXCELLENT.)

Lie in Our Graves--Dave Matthews Band

Scary Monsters and Super Creeps--David Bowie

Evil Gal Blues--Dinah Washington

The Killing Moon-Echo and the Bunnymen (Donnie Darko Soundtrack)

My Moon My Man--Feist

I'm Your Villain--Franz Ferdinand

The Boogie Monster--Gnarls Barkley

Theme to Alfred Hitchcock Presents

Flesh and Blood--Johnny Cash

Bones--The Killers

Kiko and the Lavender Moon--Los Lobos

Love Me Dead--Ludo

Grey Ghost--Mike Doughty

Scare Easy--Mudcrutch

Blood!--My Chemical Romance

Evil Urges--My Morning Jacket

Spiderwebs--No Doubt

Sympathy For the Devil--Rolling Stones

I Put a Spell on You--Screamin' Jay Hawkins

She Wolf--Shakira (Yes there are pop songs that fit the theme!)

Blood Makes Noise--Suzanne Vega (go to Youtube, the original is better than this version)

Psycho Killer--Talking Heads

Wolf Like Me--Tv on the Radio (about being a werewolf, so duh! it works)

Boris the Spider--The Who

You may have noticed that some of this soundtrack was inspired by American Werewolf in London. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it. Same director as Animal House and Blues Brothers, the latter of which is my FAVORITE MOVIE OF ALL TIME.

Wow, a lot of people know that Nickleback sucks then

2009-10-22T16:42:00.000-07:00

Collegehumor.com compiled all vandalism edits to the Nickleback wikipedia page over the course of a few years.

http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1792877

Some of my favorites:

Historians used to agree the Crusades were the most prolonged suffering in human history, until Nickelback released a second single.

Nickelback has only ever written the music to one song, they keep changing the lyrics to it.

The vacuum created by Nickleback's sucking has more force than a black hole.

Nickelback is a comedy group formed in Hanna, Alberta...
Nickelback is a horrible, uncalled for, and irrivately disgusting rock band formed in Hanna, Alberta...

Genres: Rock, alternative suck
Members: Chad Kroeger, Duke Nukem...

Nickelback plans to take a (hopefully permanent) hiatus from touring...

Category: No Bueno. Comment: Why did God give me ears if this band exists?
Category: History. Comment: Nickelback is widely hated and considered the worst band in history.

They are also the worst band on planet earth, the kind of band only followed by the types of kids in high school who desperately wanted to sit at the cool table and only was [sic] able to do so by purchasing soda for said cool kids.

Nickelback won a World Music Award on November 15th 2007...This is ridiculous! WHO LET THIS HAPPEN?!

_____________

Usually I am not a fan of stupid vandalist banter. But when it's cleverly written, I love it.

Thought of the day...

2009-10-07T17:40:00.000-07:00

If I found a quarter today, I'd think to myself "This week I MAY do laundry, because 1/9th of it is paid for."

Otherwise, laundry is not usually done very often.

It don't matter if you're black or white...

2009-06-22T19:38:00.000-07:00

I sometimes get very frustrated with my school because one of their big values is diversity.

Now, don't get me wrong, I think it's great to have diversity, but I feel that the approach is somewhat annoying.

I remember discussing this in my sociology class sophomore year, and I mentioned that I feel that our school pushes diversity in a way like "you're white, so go eat lunch with a black person! LOOK! DIVERSITY! How cultured!"

I feel as though they force interactions between "racial and ethnic groups" that really should come naturally. I won't be specific, but I think my group of friends is "diverse" and I don't think race should be a prime focus of our relationships.

Some of this frustration came out again when my school sent out a graduation survey (funny, I still have another year...) and asked this question:

To what extent have you experienced the following with students from a racial/ethnic group other than your own? Very Often, Often, Sometimes, Seldom, or Never
a. Dined or shared a meal
b. Had meaningful and honest discussions about race/ethnic relations outside of class
c. Had guarded interactions
d. Shared personal feelings and problems
e. Had tense, somewhat hostile interactions
f. Had intellectual discussions outside of class
g. Felt insulted or threatened because of your race/ethnicity
h. Studied or prepared for class
i. Attended events sponsored by other racial/ethnic groups

For the explained reasons above, the first question, A, bothered me. Who cares if I have eaten lunch with a black person or a Chinese person or a Persian person or Columbian person? I don't want to sound like "hey, I am great in this way so you should all be like me," but really I don't think about those things when I am eating with friends. I don't take the time to think "wow, how great is it that I can sit here and enjoy a meal with a Korean! GREAT!" You know what I mean? Like, why ask this question to put it in my mind so I will now think about it?

Then, the E question also bothered me. I feel like by placing this choice in the context of the question, the survey is somehow assuming that if I were to say yes, this has happened, that the tension was caused by race for some reason. I think the only "hostile interactions" I have had were with roommates, and once with a girl in the sociology class (something about stay at home moms, i just remember her getting defensive over something that no one was attacking her on...). So, if these people were a different race or ethnic group, should I mark "sometimes" for this topic? Does it really matter what kind of person I had these conversations with? If it was about cups in the shared kitchenette or stay at home moms, why should I try to think back if I ever had an argument with someone of a different "race or ethnic group" if that part had NOTHING to do with the argument?

In that sociology class, we also discussed "racial and ethnic groups" and in a week long discussion basically determined that they don't actually exist. As in, people say these things to put people in categories, therefore making it easier for them to make generalizations, either for stereotypes or market research or whatever reason.

Therefore, I feel like asking a question like this just draws more attention to the differences people have than trying to bring them together. This was a big theme we came up with in class, and I still don't really know my full opinion on it. Ignore peoples differences (and therefore end the discrimination and, well, focusing on peoples differences) OR ignore peoples differences (and just gloss over all the problems we have in our society by ignoring the problems we have already created)? I don't know which is worse/better.

Lets have a discussion on this...

huh?

2009-05-31T15:26:00.001-07:00

I was wondering why Indiana Beach was advertising facial injections in their radio commercials until I realized Botox rhymes with "boat docks."

Shirley on the rocks, please

2009-05-29T16:37:00.001-07:00

"Can I see your ID please? Oh, wait, you mean Sprite and grenadine, nevermind."

--The waitress today at TGI Friday's after I ordered a Shirley Temple.

What's the opposite of twitterpated?

2009-05-29T16:08:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I went to Borders with my dad so he could pick up a book on how to work his new Blackberry Storm.

In the same section of the store were technology and computer books.

I was ashamed at humanity when I came across a book about Twitter.

How could a book about Twitter be more than three pages long?

I flipped through it, and the first 30 pages or so (the first chapter) was about how to start a Twitter. Can you not just log on? Is it that difficult that you need a novel to instruct you? I feel like a Twitter could TELL YOU how to WORK Twitter.

Then, later in the book was a section about how to search for Twitters. The example they gave was "Pinot Noir" and following it was a list of sample Twitters that contained the words "Pinot Noir."
Who would need to search Twitter's database for a snippet only 170 characters long? Of what possible importance could that be?

One of the sample search results was from "Joe" and said "Eating dinner on the patio with a fine novel and Pinot Noir in hand!"

Wow, good thing I know how to search for this kind of stuff. I was just about to forget what Joe was doing at 5pm on Sunday.

The World Simulator

2009-05-03T15:06:00.000-07:00

If I had this projected on the wall of my house, or a huge screen of it in my house, I would feel like some kind of superior being.

It simulates birth and death rates, as well as CO2 emissions.

The birth/death thing alone amazes me. Look at India! NON STOP BABIES.

www.breathingearth.net/

Da Bulls

2009-05-03T07:48:00.001-07:00

I was clearing out old documents from my computer today, and came across this gem...

My friend Alex and I entered a contest to win free tickets to the Bulls last season.

The contest was to win a free private suite for a bunch of games.

Unfortunately, the contest required you to write 11 reasons WHY you wanted the tickets.

Therefore, I came up with the idea to do a bunch of puns with the word "suite" in them.

And this was the sad, sad result.

Because a suite would be SWEET!

I can't wait to see my favorite team from suite home Chicago.

I can't wait for some suite talk with the XRT folks!

I'm suite for Tyrus Thomas!

I want to see the team's suite moves up close!

Because my friend didn't take me to the Bulls game she went to last year and REVENGE WOULD BE SUITE.

It'd be suite to see the Bulls stomp the Nets.

Being broke ain't suite, but going to a game for free IS!

I'll have suite dreams knowing I have tickets to the Bulls game.

I'm hoping all this suite-talk will get me there!

Who got the tix, baby
Who got the only suite-est thing in the world?
Who got the seats, who got the private suite?
Who got the only suite-est thing in the world?

105%

2009-04-30T16:32:00.000-07:00

I love reading the "105%" articles on CollegeHumor. It is a weekly gathering of one-liner jokes that are sometimes stupid, crude, or really funny.

My friends and I were reading through them the other day and I just HAD to compile a list of my favorites:

My lesbian neighbors gave me a Rolex for my birthday. It's nice, but I think they misunderstood me when I said, 'I wanna watch'.

I recently walked in on my son smoking pot, and thought, "That's weird, I don't have any kids."

What do you call an ugly girl with no arms? Sorry I meant, "Why."

Places I'd Like to Go Before I Die: The hospital.

Even though both of my parents are dead, no one really calls me an orphan. They usually call me a murderer.

When I was a kid I used to dunk on a 7' hoop in my driveway and wait for an NBA scout to drive by and draft me. Unfortunately the chance of that happening was very slim; I lived in a culdesac.

If somebody offers you a lifetime supply of candy and there is just one piece, don't eat it: It's probably poison.

My friend told me last week that he was "High on Life." I tried it too, but couldn't get the plastic game pieces lit.

My psychic is a gifted blind man. He has a fifth sense.

When Forrest said life was like a box of chocolates, was he saying that life is a cheap and unoriginal present that's only truly enjoyable for a maximum of three days?

Whenever I buy Wendy's chili, I just pour it directly into the toilet. It's like time-traveling 20 minutes into the future.

What is blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.

If you think that taking 21 shots on your 21st birthday is hard, just remember how hard it was for your 8th birthday.

My friend told me about how he tried to commit suicide by taking 20 Advils. Doesn't he know that he could've just taken 4 Aleves?

Do you think if Jesus was on the penny, it would be called a JC Penny?

Inner monologue of a taxi driver going by a Neo-Nazi rally
"Alright, a customer!...damn, false alarm...Alright, a customer!...damn, false alarm...Alright, a customer!...damn, false alarm..."

Sometimes, late at night I lay in bed, stare at the stars and wonder... where the hell did my roof go?

I got my dog from an orphanage like, twelve years ago. Those orphans STILL hold a grudge.

When you're fat, every shirt is a sweat-shirt.

How they named Delaware
Explorer: Where am I? Native: Delawzqeuxquzrenapolis Explorer: Delawhere?

I got punched in the face last week and it really hurt my feelings. Especially the feelings in my face.

Why is it that when I watch all the seasons of South Park back-to-back, it's called a "marathon," yet when I run 26 miles and stab 15 people along the way, it's called a "spree?"

If a jury finds someone guilty of prostitution, it's probably not a great idea for the judge to sentence him/her to community service.

Angry student: You mark my words, highlighter! You mark my words...

Bob Dylan hosts Jeopardy!
Dylan: The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind.
Contestant: What is my kite?

I thought it was ironic when my grandma started choking on a Life Saver, until it cured her cancer.

I really hate swimming. Except when I'm drowning. Then I suddenly think its awesome.

Do you think hookers go as moderately clothed college girls for Halloween?

My Grandmother just turned 84 last week. I sent her a birthday card with a check for $10 in it.

An RA came into my room yesterday and confiscated all of my weed, and I thought "That's funny, I don't live in the dorms"

I was in the hospital and I heard from one of the rooms, "Don't worry everyone, I'm gonna beat this thing." Which I thought was a really positive thing to say, until I realized it came from the maternity ward.

Could whoever is giving homeless people markers please stop? Their signs are really bumming me out.

Worm 1: Feel that? Its raining.
Worm 2: Wanna go out and die on the sidewalk?
Worm 1: God yeah.

My girlfriend saw me on the toilet and got so grossed out. I was like, "Everybody does it." And she was all like, "Let me finish peeing first."

I tried using one of those "self check-out" lines at the grocery store once, but everyone just laughed at me. Next time I'll just stick with the doctor's office.

I think the best word to describe me would be "unable to follow self imposed word count guidelines."

Prediction

2009-04-21T11:39:00.000-07:00

I LOVE the song "Hooked On You" by Jennifer Lopez. It isn't released yet. For some unknown reason, my dance teacher here in Spain has it on CD. It is a GREAT new song.

I guarantee it will be a huge hit when it comes out and it will be EVERYWHERE.

Listen to it now to be super cool and already know about it when it comes out...

check it out on youtube...

All My Single Ladies!

2009-04-02T12:29:00.001-07:00

Recently one of my friends broke up with her boyfriend.

As a result, she felt the need to listen to "SINGLE LADIES" by Beyonce...many, many times a day.

If I wanted to express the happiness about being single, I wouldn't want to listen to the techno-pop treble epileptic seizure that is that song.

Therefore, I made my own "Breakup/being single" playlist. I honestly don't know about the whole breakup thing since I've never had a serious boyfriend, but still I think these songs show it well enough.

PS, most of this is pop music...just b/c it's easier to search through my 10000 iTunes songs for extremely obviously named breakup songs, usually falling in the pop music category. Also, the girl I made the list for doesn't really like non-pop music, so Buddy Guy was out of the question...

Kate Nash "Shit Song"
Because the chorus is... "Darling don't give me shit cuz I know that you're full of it."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3kxQgC7uXw

All American Rejects "Gives You Hell"
Because the chorus is..."When you see my face, hope it gives you hell."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l06M-dsQf3Q

Aly & AJ "Potential Breakup Song"
Allmusic.com gave this a surprisingly high rating for a couple of Disney-spawned music makers. This works because of "Who would forget that? The type of guy who doesn't see what he has until she leaves."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bqpA5Acc8-c

No Doubt "Ex-Girlfriend"
Lyrics snippet: "I kinda always knew I'd end up your ex-girlfriend"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ff_GbnpDzwQ

Rilo Kiley "Breakin Up"
"betrayal is a thorny crown, you wear it well"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b7MFL9eNqVM (Live)

Miley Cyrus "GNO, Girl's Night Out"
"It's a girl's night, I'm alright without you."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LUhJ6JGMwbo

Rilo Kiley "Portions for Foxes"
"My friends tell me to leave you; That you're bad news, bad news, bad news"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FH_bvXf1-yM (Live)

Skye Sweetnam "Number One"
I just love her style. Here she is shouting her single ladies new anthem, "Now I'm living on the run, lookin' out for Number One."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qItk22hBtEU

Natasha Bedingfield "Single"
"[I] Don't depend on a guy to validate me...I'm single (Right now) That's how I wanna be"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NxTgK29qRCo

The Guess Who "No Time"
"No time for the love you send; Seasons change and so did I"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oqeSUAlI5uI

Enjoy.

In the loop

2009-03-12T13:53:00.000-07:00

My friend posted on facebook that he was watching the new video from Britney Spears' new album, Circus.

Her third single is called "If You Seek Amy."
I have heard of it before, and it was all about this "controversial and cheeky" new song. I thought it was because she mentions being with guys and girls.

I was like "ok, that's what Katy Perry did, and Britney is being more indirect about it, so why is it such a big deal?"

And even in the video, it begins with a news anchorwoman saying "this new Britney song, If You Seek Amy, spells out controversy!"

Um, so I didn't get it and had to rely on Wikipedia to clear stuff up for me once again.
Therefore, don't feel stupid when I just spell it out for you.

IF YOU SEEK AMY.
IFYOUSEEKAMY
IF YOU SEE KA-MY
F-U-C-K ME

Get it?

I sure as heck didn't the first...100 times around.

Haha

2009-03-09T13:45:00.000-07:00

I occasionally comment on videos and articles at collegehumor.com

Here is a recent video I commented on:

Watch Bleep Bloop: Stereotypes and Street Fighter on CollegeHumor

I went back today to see if anyone responded to any comments I posted and found this.

I wasn't actually being serious, it's just the last time I ever played Street Fighter...on my grey gameboy.
Because the last time I SAW it was in movie form on USA.

Music Snob

2009-02-02T10:01:00.000-08:00

I was watching an interview of a star from this teen show i watch, and they asked her what type of music she likes and she was like "old school reggae, and some kings of leon."

I feel like people always try to sound cool with that. I wish someone would PLEASE go into an interview and say "I really love WHAM! as well as Hilary Duff, but only her early stuff, nothing post-lizzie mcguire."

Please, someone needs to do this.

Just try a little Wig Wam Bam!

2009-01-26T15:05:00.000-08:00

I just found a place where I could download the song "Wig Wam Bam" by the Sweet. I have been looking for this song for FOREVER. You have no idea. This makes my life that much more complete.

Now I can listen to it 23904879387 times!
I will slowly but surely move it up to top played in iTunes. Done and DONE!

MMMm, octopus

2009-01-04T16:25:00.000-08:00

As I browse gospain.about.com and look at the top ten Spanish foods for my trip, I saw that number two was "Pulpo a la Gallega" aka Galician Octopus. I told this to my brother, who responded "like Oswald?"

=

Yes, like Oswald.

PS, the site I was visiting was
http://gospain.about.com/od/fooddrink/ss/topspanishfood_2.htm

The Wonders of Travel

2009-01-02T17:03:00.000-08:00

As I prepare for my 5-month trip to Spain, I have become more and more concerned about the trip, including what to bring and such.

Today was quite interesting, since I was discussing the safety issue. You may know that in Spain, it is very common to be robbed or pickpocketed. At school in Chicago, I carry pepper spray in my purse, and I fortunately have never needed to use it.

I thought about whether or not I would be allowed to bring this with me to Spain. I went to the TSA website, and discovered that aerosols are not allowed on either carry-on OR checked luggage. UNLESS, of course, it is for personal care. Then I discovered a whole section of the site dedicated to weaponry, including pepper spray. And yes, it is allowed on checked luggage. But apparently Spain has laws regarding the chemical makeup of the spray, so I have to look more in-depth as to what kind I have.

But in this section, I also discovered that Nunchakus, throwing stars, and Kabutons are allowed in checked luggage as well. PHEW. I'll be set then.

This discussion of pepper spray and attacks led my mom to try and convince us to buy a taser, Veronica Mars-style. This led to the inevitable, "Mom, I am NOT getting a taser for Spain!" Every family's discussion about travel, I know.
She is still arguing with me to look up if they are legal or not.

oh, and the Veronica Mars thing? view this...

JESUS!

2008-12-18T12:45:00.000-08:00

My mom: I know we sometimes slide stuff under the couch in the living room, did you look under there to see if any of your stuff found its way there? Why don't you take a look under there.

Me: (looks under couch) JESUS!

My dad: What? What's under there?

Me: Jesus. The manger Jesus.

You see, every year my mom sets out our manger set for Christmas. Usually, she doesn't set out the baby Jesus until Christmas day (because he hasn't been born yet. Get it?). This year, she put him out there with the wise men and other people on the foyer table. I joked with her that Jesus shouldn't be out yet since he hasn't been born. Apparently while I was away at school she moved him and hid him under the couch.

She hides him every year. And every year, it's under the couch.

A Nutcracker Christmas

2008-12-18T12:30:00.000-08:00

Today, the Nutcracker movie was on the Ovation channel. I have never seen this, but I did have a book that I read as a child that told the intriguing story.

I have to ask, why is this movie not a Christmas staple? Sure, it is on stage everywhere that has major ballets during Christmastime, but I think this should be a story that is told more often. It reminds me a bit of Alice in Wonderland...it is so strange and childish that it is entertaining to adults as well.

During the movie, my favorite part of the ballet is the Tea (Chinese dance), which is also in the film Fantasia, where tiny mushrooms dance to the tune.

Try to watch the dancing mushrooms and not smile. They are adorable.

What a wonderful World

2008-12-01T14:09:00.000-08:00

I was reading some of the celebrity playlists posted on iTunes when I came across BB King's. When I read this, I just thought it was very inspiring, especially to read it from an 80-something year old musician who has seen so much of the world.

"What a Wonderful World (Louis Armstrong)": "It seems to me that everything we've talked about, at the moment, has been a personal thing to me. Now at almost 80 years old I look around and I see, like in that song 'I hear babies cry and then I think to myself what a wonderful world' because these children that are being born today, growing up today, will learn much more than I'll never know, and that's a fact. And then the way Louis sings, he didn't have a beautiful voice to some. But to me it was...that gravel voice, no one had one like it."

Inspiring.

Is it possible...?

2008-11-20T20:45:00.000-08:00

I wanted to Google "is it possible to drink a gallon of milk in one hour" because my roommate claims it's not true (due to the size of your stomach and volume of a gallon).

I got as far as "is it possible to" in the search field and the automatic suggestion scroll yielded some interesting results. Apparently there are many women out there who are sexually uninformed...the first three results were:
"is it possible to get pregnant on your period"
"is it possible to be pregnant and still get your period"
"is it possible to get pregnant right after your period"

I am not going to get into the exact science of it, but YES, you can get pregnant while on your period or right after. And I am sure there is some scientific miracle that allows you to get your period while pregnant, but I don't know the exact details of that.

ANYWAYS...

back to my milk drinking conundrum.
One of the first results was this, a site where a guy dared his coworker to drink a gallon of milk in an hour, and hold it in for another hour.
http://www.loudermilk.org/milk/

I really want to try this. I mean, I hate puking, so I know that would NOT be fun...but the idea of drinking a gallon of milk in an hour seems like a piece of cake. Actually, I would probably be unable to eat a piece of cake in an hour b/c it's too sweet, so that's a bad analogy. But when super thirsty at dinner, I have the capability of drinking a third of a gallon of milk. My favorite cup at home is a 3/4 liter cup that makes the meal so much better by not raising the need for me to refill it as much (maybe only once, now).

Without a meal, I could totally stomach more milk. I LOVE milk. It would be great.
Someday, I will be up to this challenge.

One thing I wouldn't be able to stomach is a ton of peanut butter. Three hours ago I ate banana slices dipped in melted peanut butter and chocolate chips. And I STILL want to gag. I didn't even finish it...I ate half a banana. So, I don't recommend that.

Controversial? Or ground-breaking?

2008-11-19T08:55:00.000-08:00

Our ethics teacher showed us some United Colors of Benetton ads in class yesterday, and here is one of them. What does this represent, what do you think is the message? What is the brand trying to say?

Opinions?

Bruce Willis in HSM3

2008-11-19T07:57:00.001-08:00

I know what you're thinking. Ew, High School Musical.

But this? It's worth it.

No biggie.

2008-11-18T20:49:00.000-08:00

Today my Ethics teacher showed us a clip that moveon.org made for youtube.

After showing this, some girl raised her hand, asking what it was for, since she didn't understand what it was advertising. The teacher explained it was for MoveOn.org, an anti-Bush site. He also said "I'm also not sure how old this is...I believe it said somewhere in there '3 trillion dollars in debt'...Ha, that's a small number compared to now, three trillion was the good ole' days."

PS: this video is a parody of this original video:

Halloween Playlist

2008-11-17T16:17:00.001-08:00

I forgot to post this one, I guess it's a little late, but oh well.

I have here a playlist I made for our Halloween party. Enjoy.

Funeral for a friend/Love lies bleeding--elton john
Wild night--Van morrison
After midnight--eric clapton
scarecrow--beck
midnight rambler--the rolling stones
time of the seasons--the zombies
Slayed--overseer
brain damage--pink floyd
7 deadly sins--traveling wilburys
sunday blody sunday--U2
Lucretia MacEvil--Blood, Sweat, and Tears
Scary Monsters and Super Creps (live)--David Bowie
Black Magic Woman (Gypsy Queen)--Santana
World Wide Suicide--Pearl Jam
Evil Gal Blues--Dinah Washington
Sympathy for the Devil--The Rolling Stones
Hollywood Nocturne--The Brian Setzer Orchestra
Monster--Steppenwolf
I'm your boogie man--KC and the Sunshine Band
Don't fear the reaper--Blue Oyster Cult
The Killing Moon --Echo and the Bunnyman
The Boogie Monster--Gnarls Barkley
Lie in OUr Graves--DMB
Zombie Zoo--Tom Petty
Skeleton Song--Kate Nash
Evil Ways--Santana
A-Punk--Vampire Weekend
Poison Cup--M Ward
Monster Hospital--Metric
She Drives me Crazy--Fine Young Cannibals
Shadowplay--The killers
Brain Stew--Green Day
I Like Nightmares--The Who
Boris the Spider--The Who
Gravedigger--Dave Matthews
Mack the Knife--Bobby Darin
Bones--The Killers
Cherub Rock--Smashing Pumpkins
Phantom Punch--Sondre Lerche
Bad Moon Rising--CCR
Killer Queen--Queen
Witchy woman--the eagles
superstition--stevie wonder
evil woman--soul hooligan
I put a spell on you--Screamin' jay hawkins
Ghost riders in the sky--the blues brothers
stray cat strut--stray cats
house of wolves--my chemical romance
kiko and the lavender moon--los lobos
werewolves of london--warren zevon
blood--my chemical romance
twisted nerve--bernard Herrmann
Devil inside--INXS
Evil woman--the doobie brothers
alfred hitchcock tv theme--jeff alexander
moondance--van morrison
phantom limb--the shins
dead!--my chemical romance
friday night--lily allen
devil's haircut--beck
young blood--the coasters
season of the witch--the blues brothers
strange brew--cream

huh?

2008-11-17T15:04:00.000-08:00

I was standing on the streetcorner waiting for the light to change to cross Michigan Avenue when I see a college-aged boy, wearing jeans covered in patches (not like, "i have holes" patches, but like "7-inch quilting squares of various colors" kind of patches, like he is dressed to be in some theatrical production) running across the busy intersection, almost hit by two cabs. He stops and the cabs stop, approximately 5 feet from each other, and the guy dramatically waves his hand and bows, as if giving permission to the cab to continue moving while he waits for it to pass. The cab driver waves his hand angrily, then the buy leaps several times across the street, sweeping his arms at his sides as if to gain the momentum of a prancing elf, to the sidewalk where I am standing.

He takes off his burnt-orange crocheted winter hat, tosses it on the ground face up, and proceeds to sing or shout or something. It took me a moment, amongst the street noise of the cabs honking, cars vrooming and people shouting to hear what he is singing, which happened to be "99 Red Balloons" by Nena. I stood there, staring at the traffic light, grinning and lauging to myself at the strangeness that just happened.

Things darken in the Twilight

2008-11-12T22:08:00.000-08:00

If you haven't already heard, the movie adaptation of Twilight (based on a book) is garnering a LOT of attention from fans, namely 13-17 year old girls. In the past week, this has been in the news A LOT, because girls have been dying, slowly, from their lack of Robert Pattinson bites. Seriously.

Apparently there have been events at malls and stuff to promote the movie and give out free stuff/let fans get autographs/let fans meet the cast. And the stores have waved their white flags early to the voracious fans, letting them come in a day early or before the designated time of the event, thus leaving the people later in line to cry of disappointment. Some fans were sad, many were ANGRY.

-One fan, according to the news, equated not meeting Pattinson with "getting shot in the stomach"
-One fan claimed the stores were exercising "false advertising"

And, in semi-unrelated news, a young girl asked the vampire-playing actor to "bite her." Yes, these are our future leaders.

What's up, NASA?

2008-11-12T08:03:00.000-08:00

In my Reporting and Writing class today, we had a lab that asked us to write on 3 topics that should be reported on more.
My 3 topics were:
-24 hour news (and how it's completely unnecessary)
-Russian-American relations (remember when we hated you back in the cold war? well, we're cool now. Wait, except for that whole Georgia thing. Except, well, I don't know anymore)
-Nasa and Space Exploration

That last one gathered most of my interest, yet strangely enough, was the shortest paragraph of the three. Basically I said "When's the last time you heard about NASA? I bet a WHILE." Did you know that we just found out our Mars lander unit DIED on Nov. 2nd? As in, we can't communicate with it anymore? Yeah, well it HAPPENED. And no one cared. Except me. Because that means MARS PICTURES! And they found ice and minerals that show signs of water! And they gathered SAMPLES! And it was, according to some NASA website, the most successful mission on Mars YET. Thrilling. There's also a Mars ROVER, (which is drastically different from a LANDER, but I am really not sure how) that is encountering DUST STORMS. I really hope it makes it. Didja know that we're going into space soon with a SHUTTLE?! TONIGHT! At 7:55pm EST! Fingers crossed it looks something like what happened in that movie with Jodie Foster (Contact). Speaking of Contact, remember all those space movies? What happened to that trend? Red Planet? Apollo 13? Mission to Mars? So many movies destined to be repeated on TNT and USA for forever.

I also wrote in my paper how we should focus more on NASA because they come up with cool stuff, like cushy mattresses and space blankets that look like foil (super-futuristic). And CAT scanning machines and MRI machines and flash-frozen food (um, hello Ore-Ida taters!). So yeah, NASA is pretty big news.

Now, I think I will check NASA news daily just so I can be a super nerd. And because it's the closest I can get to the nerd-dom that I experienced when visiting the Fermi Lab for an AP Physics field trip senior year of high school.

I also have to say I got a kick out of hearing one of my classmates write about an under-reported story she found about a cat who was found after being missing for 13 years. At the end of her paragraph she said she wrote "I know this is not really news-worthy, but I had to write on it because it made me laugh out loud."

In other news, it looks like Batman left his grappling hook and wire hanging off of my classroom building. Or, at least that's what it looked/sounded like from the 14th story window.

Jim Gordon took an axe, gave his mother forty whacks...

2008-11-06T16:55:00.000-08:00

Well, not exactly an axe, but a hammer.

I was listening to the song "Layla." I looked at the iTunes info and it said it was Derek and the Dominoes. I thought it was a Clapton song. I went to wikipedia where I found that this band was created by Clapton and the song had a bit of Duane Allman guitar in it.

Well, I was reading the wikipedia page and found that separate sounding parts of the song were composed separately by Clapton and a guy named Jim Gordon. Of course, thinking he was the police dude from Batman, I wanted to read up more on this guy. I was skimming past his musical career stuff trying to figure out if he was famous for anything I knew, and apparently he's worked with every musician EVER (not really, but a lot). Then, I see the title "retirement and incarceration." Of course, this piqued my interest. I read onward. This is what I found (from Wikipedia.com)

---
In the late 1970s, Gordon complained of hearing voices in his head, primarily those of his mother. Unfortunately, his physicians did not diagnose his condition as schizophrenia and instead treated him for alcohol abuse.

In June 1983, he murdered his mother with a hammer. It was not until his trial in 1984 that he was properly diagnosed. Due to the fact that his attorney was unable to use the insanity defense, he was sentenced to 16 years to life in prison with a possibility of parole. He has served his sentence at the California Men's Colony in San Luis Obispo, Atascadero State Hospital in Atascadero, and the State Medical Corrections Facility in Vacaville. As of 2008, he remains incarcerated. Currently, there is a petition on line to assist him in either being released from prison or placed in a facility where he is able to receive more sophisticated treatment.
---

WHOA. That is more than I was expecting to find.
Imagine listening to the guitar/piano slower half of Layla while reading this. A bit ironic.

I always am so curious about morbid things like this. Poor guy...no one helped him in his opening stages of schizophrenia.

Supernova Girl

2008-11-06T16:01:00.000-08:00

I was randomly humming the song from Zenon: Girl of the 21st century today. Remember that? "Zoom zoom zoom, make my heart go boom boom--my supernova girl!"

Yeah, so I was singing it aloud when I realized that the lyrics are slightly more intelligent than I thought, or at least one part is.

Here is the beginning of the song until the chorus:

___
Stargazing megafast
You hit me like a cosmic blast
You've given me a Technicolor world

Putting me in Overdrive
Speed of light, I'm so alive!
Could you be my supernova girl?

Interplanetary, Megastellar, Hydrostatic
There's no gravity between us
Our love is automatic!

(Zoom Zoom Zoom) Make my heart go
(Boom Boom) My Supernova Girl(x4)
____

So that stanza before the chorus says "there's no gravity between us, our love is automatic"...well, if you know any physics, then you know that there is always gravitational attraction between any two objects on our planet. For example, if a glass of water is sitting on a table next to a lamp, there is a gravitational force between the lamp and the table, the glass and the table, and the lamp and the glass. My high school physics teacher would always joke (and I would always laugh, b/c I'm a nerd like that) that if someone were to hit on you and say "don't you feel some attraction here?" you could always respond "No, it's simply gravitational."

Get it? Gravitational attraction! Haha! ahh....

So, back to the song, the lyrics go "There's no gravity between us, our love is automatic," implying there is no gravitational attraction, just a loving attraction!

Amazing! Clearly the writer of this song knows his/her basic gravitational physics!

Well, I thought it was pretty amazing.

Gross!

2008-11-05T08:44:00.000-08:00

This guy apparently gets a lot of freebies, and his favorite by far is this company cookbook he got with a bunch of terrible, gross, recipes.

http://www.amalah.com/photos/the_company_cookbook/index.html

This is Daniel Cook

2008-11-04T08:30:00.000-08:00

I love the kid's short show "This is Daniel Cook," about a 6-year old boy who learns about people's jobs. Basically Daniel just makes hilarious candid remarks to which the older people really don't know how to respond.

Today he met a train conductor.

Daniel: Is this an old train or a new one?
Old Train guy: Well, this is an old one. This was made in 1912.
Daniel: WOW! I was born in 1996.
Old Train guy: Holy cats!

EDIT:
Here is a preview for the show. It makes me smile (and laugh) every time I see it.

I also just found this. "Water is the best way to un-thirst you"

iTunes secret messages

2008-10-31T09:48:00.000-07:00

As I scour my billion-song iTunes for some perfect songs for my Halloween mix, I have encountered a few odd things...

When I search "Evil,"
Hannah Montana's "life's what you make it" and "Nobody's perfect" show up

When I search "Bone"
Madonna's entire "erotica" CD shows up

When I search "Die"
Aaron Carter's version of "Run rudolph run" shows up.

Hmmm...

105%

2008-10-30T20:50:00.000-07:00

Do you think hookers go as moderately clothed college girls for Halloween?
-Tanner Boyd

This is why I love Collegehumor.

those brownies must be delish

2008-10-27T13:30:00.000-07:00

Alex: Hey.
Me: Yeah?
Alex: Have you tried one of these brownies?
Me: nah.
Alex: They're REALLY good.
Me: Kay.

*2 minutes later*
Alex: Did I already ask you if you've tried one of these brownies?
Me: Yes, just a second ago.
Alex: What did you say?
Me: That I didn't.
Alex: Ugh, they're really good.

*5 minutes later*
Alex: Melissa?
Me: Yeah?
Alex: Nevermind.
Me: What?
Alex: I was gonna ask you again about the brownies, but I thought it might...
Me: ...be too much?
Alex: Yeah.

Ahhh, Thanksgiving.

2008-10-27T12:25:00.000-07:00

Has anyone ever noticed that probably the biggest week of the year for America is Thanksgiving week?

The day before Thanksgiving is known as the biggest bar night in the year (due to people not having to work the next day and people having a "homecoming" with their buddies).

Thanksgiving, of course, is the biggest gluttony celebration there is, AND there is football on that day AND parades.

Then, of course, is Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving, which is known to be the busiest shopping day of the year, when most people do their Christmas shopping.

What joy. All in celebration of a little event where some Native Americans taught pilgrims how to grow corn to survive the long season ahead, and the pilgrims returned the favor by giving them disease and stealing their land.

How proud I am to say "I'M AMERICAN!"

like...toaster?

2008-10-27T11:55:00.000-07:00

I was reading a definitions list my Spanish teacher sent the class, and came across this definition:

"The use of words that sound like their meanings."

Aloud, I thought "like, Toaster?"

Then I read the word it was defining: onomatopoeia.

Silly me.

Subway?

2008-10-25T14:36:00.000-07:00

Alex and I were heading toward the bus stop last night when a teenage couple stopped and asked us a question.

"Where's the closest subway?"

Alex paused, thinking.
At first I was confused (this isn't NYC, we call the train "the El"), then I took initiative and responded.

"You mean the train? Well, see that street there? That's Chicago. Walk about two blocks that way, and right in front of the McDonald's you'll see stairs going down. Take those down and there you are!"
The girl nodded and said "Thanks."

As we were walking away, Alex said "See, I paused because I thought she was talking about the sandwich place."
"But I said 'the train,' right?" I replied.
"Yeah, but she didn't say anything when you said that, so I don't know if she meant the train or the restaurant."
"oh."

Well, we figured out there was a Subway near there, anyways, but it wasn't located underground down some staircase. Hopefully the couple found their way.

2008-10-24T23:12:00.001-07:00

The Office is super annoying.

2008-09-24T09:12:00.000-07:00

Yeah, no creative title for this, not even a title I thought was creative but wasn't.

After the third season or so, I made the discovery that The Office is just a major disappointment. Jim and Pam are going to take a trillion years "to happen" (even when they were dating in the 4th season, it wasn't going very far...). Michael is super obnoxious and awkward. Seriously? Four seasons of this? Michael is just plain annoying. Not funny, not silly, just nerve-jitteringly obnoxious. I cannot find more than two words to describe his annoying obnoxiousness, but there is much more anger and frustration in these two adjectives than it may seem.

I CANNOT STAND THAT CHARACTER. How can I watch a 30-minute show with that?
I look forward to episodes that don't have much Michael, but there are not many. Even when there was a focus on Andy, I wasn't sure which was worse, having to endure 30 minutes of Michael or 30 minutes of Andy. Oh, and when Michael and Packer are together? Not funny. Just stupid and annoying. Ughghhghghghghhhh.

That is why last season I probably saw only 3 episodes or so. And I am definitely not going to watch the season premiere this week.

I am also kind of pissed at the show currently because I went through some trouble to get free IMAX movie passes to "Eagle Eye" that happens to be this Thursday and two friends have either cancelled on me or just said they were busy because they can't manage to watch the show on repeat online that night or tape it to watch later. No, that would be too easy. Because these Eagle Eye passes are just falling from trees.

I mean, seriously. Even if the movie sucks, it was FREE. And in IMAX. And you got to go out and walk around the city (a SHORT walk, for the lazy folk) on a beautiful night to get to the theatre. And you see people, instead of shutting yourself in a dorm room huddled around a TV.

I am just sick of our generation. Everything sucks. But that's for another post.

It's all been done

2008-08-21T13:09:00.001-07:00

Why do all teen shows think they are original?

And I watch MANY teen shows, so I should know.

All the shows that have no twist, that are just about teens in general (90210, Gossip Girl, the OC, One Tree Hill, Degrassi, Dawson's Creek, My So-Called Life, etc) are really going nowhere in the world of cutting edge entertainment.

We, the audience, have seen everything. You can't surprise us. For the past 20 years or so, teen shows have thrived. Many have shared storylines. Even if you combine these so-called "intense" storylines, it will not be mind-blowingly surprising.

Therefore, when 90210 says it's gonna be different, it's gonna be hot, sexy, provocative, I somewhat disagree. I am sure it will be the first two things, but the last one? Provocative doesn't even exist anymore. I have seen characters in teen shows commit suicide, blow up a school, have sex, come out of the closet, cheat on their boy/girlfriends, have car accidents, wear skanky clothes to school, smoke weed, snort cocaine, take ecstasy, take barbituates, steal drugs, drink, give oral sex, get stalked, deal with racism, become anorexic, have affairs with their teachers, stab someone, get pregnant, have an abortion, get raped, have abusive family, have abusive boyfriends, get discriminated for religion, become a rock star, have cancer, become paralyzed, deal with bipolar disorder, expose themself to a video camera, then have it spread across the school, street race, go to prison, be in gangs, punch each other, post sexy photos on the internet, become a stripper, start a band, almost become a prostitute, become engaged, and more.

And this was only on ONE SHOW (degrassi of course).

I. Have. Literally. Seen. Everything.

Everything.

Do you not get this? There are no more subjects to cover!

I am surprised Degrassi lasted this long only repeating a FEW storylines! How did they come up with so many!?

So, 90210, don't tell me you will be shocking. Don't tell me there will be stuff I've never seen before. Unless you are showing porn or something, you really can't surprise me on what you will show on national television.

This is not to say, of course, that I won't watch 90210.
Shenae Grimes is gonna be on it...and she's my favorite character from Degrassi. So I will definitely tune in so I can yawn.

As for Gossip Girl: why do people think this is a super provocative show? Teens having sex has happened in other shows before. MANY shows before. Why is this so new?

That is all.

The Master of Sales

2008-07-19T15:43:00.000-07:00

I went shopping today with Alex, and I spent a total of $37. You may say, "ok, no biggie, you probably got two shirts or something." But no, I am the Master of Sales, and I stretched every dollar.

At the beginning of the summer I saw these cute halters at Anne Taylor for about $40. I didn't get them then because I was NOT going to pay $40 for a cotton jersey halter with no special embellishments or anything.
Then, yesterday, I remembered that halter I looked at a couple months ago and thought "I bet it's on sale now!" And I checked the website and it was on sale for $15 on the website. I need some sleeveless shirts asap for summer, so I didn't want to order it online. I went to the mall and bought it and now I am the proud owner of a navy blue with white polka dot halter for $15.

We sauntered over to Old Navy and there was a $2.99 sale, which was just screaming my name. I got three striped tank tops (a purple/violet, a navy/teal and a black/white), two short sleeve boat necks (one navy/teal, one violet/purple), and two pairs of XXL boys' boxers (both black, one with multi colored stripes, one with multi colored skulls). My tally there was about $23.

Oh, and Alex scored a free Dark Knight "WHY SO SERIOUS?" shirt (made with an american apparel tee, too!) from her city job, so that was just a bonus.

So that comes to one free Dark Knight tee, two short sleeved tees, three tanks, one halter, and two pairs of boxers for around $38. That averages to about $4 an item.

Beat that.

Doesn't this book look great?

2008-06-15T19:35:00.001-07:00

Is it just me, or is it very strange to have a commercial for a book?

Today I saw a commercial selling James Patterson's "SAIL".
At first it was confusing because I thought "they can't be selling a book, that's too weird!" How can you represent a book through visuals and audio when it is an object filled with written words? Is it strange only to me?

Sure I broke the law...but it wasn't here...

2008-06-03T13:56:00.000-07:00

I have a question.

You know how certain jobs require you to take drug tests?
You know how marijuana stays in your system for a while?

Well...

What if you got a job in January, then went to Amsterdam at the end of January. Then, in Amsterdam, where smoking pot is legal, you, well, smoked pot. Then you came back, took a drug test, and failed (due to the lurking marijuana in your system). Would you be fired from you job? Because you weren't breaking the law...

Or maybe the job description says you couldn't do drugs while employed there...then in that case, I guess you were breaking the rules. But if you were halfway across the globe where smoking pot is legal, I don't understand why you should be penalized.

I dunno.

Oh, children

2008-05-17T20:26:00.000-07:00

At the post office today there was this little girl (I'd guess 3 yrs old), and she was with her mom. She wanted to go sit on a bench that was close to the front of the line, and her mom said she could, but she(the mom) would have to wait in line while her daughter sat there. The girl was upset her mommy couldn't go up there and be by her while she sat, so she started whining, which escalated to balling. She was soon crying, telling her mommy she didn't want to go over "there" alone, because "that man over there is scaring me!"

Good thing she didn't specify which man.

Some man came in with his two sons while I was closer to the front of the line, and one of the sons, who I'd guess is five or so, went up to the trash can and pushed in the lid, sticking his head partially inside. Then he said "Ew, that smells."
I basically couldn't stop laughing, and the people around me in line were staring at me. I laughed even harder when the kid's dad said "Well yes, that is a garbage can."

I smell bread.

2008-04-30T10:47:00.000-07:00

Ugh, I was making an english muffin sandwich today and the smell of the stuff was disgusting. The bread I mean. Bread has a gross smell.

Oh no, does this mean I'm gonna die?http://www.marsinvestigations.net/culturalreferences/1159/mash

PS: If this is what a muffin is to the English, what is a regular muffin? A muffy?Muffer? Muffleton?

PPS: I know I never posted those pictures of those sweet watches and alarm clock. I'll get to it.

Gwen Stefani and Pink Floyd aren't the same.

2008-04-27T10:06:00.000-07:00

It's time to come up with some more genre-describing words. "Rock" "Alternative" and "Pop" are WAY too generic to describe music. According to my iTunes...

the following albums are "Rock":

Gwen Stefani "The Sweet Escape"
Aerosmith "Nine Lives"
Alanis Morissette "Jagged Little Pill"
The Beatles "Anthology"
Beck "Sea Change"
Dave Matthews Band "Crash"
Fall Out Boy "Infinity on High"
Jet "Shine On"

These are "pop":

Alanis Morrisette "So-Called Chaos"
Ashlee Simpson "Autobiography"
The Beatles "Anthology" (a diff. disc)
Elton John "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road"
Jack Johnson "In Between Dreams"
KC and the Sunshine Band "Best of..."
Madeleine Peyroux "Careless Love"
Paul Simon "There goes Rhymin' Simon"
Van Morrison "Best of..."

These are "Alternative":

Beck "Guero"
Hellogoodbye "Zombies! Aliens! Vampires! Dinosaurs!"
The Killers "Sams Town"
OK GO "Oh No"
Snow Patrol "Eyes Open"
White Stripes "Get Behind Me Satan"
All-American Rejects "Move Along"
Jem "Finally Woken"

Even Jazz seems confusing...look at these songs that are considered "jazz":

"Rehab" by Amy Winehouse
"Autumn in New York" by Billie Holiday (which I agree...this is what I think of as jazz)
"Julia Ann Johnson" by H. Ledbetter
"freefall" by Spyro Gyra

Since when is Van Morrison in the same category as Ashlee Simpson?
It's time people came to creatin' more words, because I think you'd agree that the artists on these lists don't sound anything like eachother.

I feel like in the last five years, the only new words we've come up with to describe a new genre of music is "emo"...well what about MIA? That should be like...hipster hip-hop...like urban outfitters hip hop. Let's come up with some new words, people!

So that's how they're doing it.

2008-04-23T14:31:00.000-07:00

I didn't know it was so easy!

The Ha Ha Ha Times

2008-04-23T13:35:00.000-07:00

Ugh, Joker, I totally agree.

Music and Lyrics

2008-04-23T09:54:00.001-07:00

You know how songs can trigger a very specific memory? Today we had a street barbecue at our school, and they were playing all sorts of music, and some just made me think of very specific moments in my life.

Gavin DeGraw--I Don't Want To Be
I haven't heard this song in so long, and it reminded me of this very specific moment where I was a senior in high school, riding home with Nicolette and Kristen, (and maybe Heather D?) and I remember them all talking excitedly and nervously about the Spanish Honors Society induction that was coming up, and how they were all happy about being in it. I remember feeling so jealous that I was not included in this conversation, because I was just under the requirements for SHS. I had one B that brought my overall Spanish GPA down just a smidge enough to affect my never being able to be inducted in the society, EVER. I was so upset for some reason, and looking back, I am still a bit upset that I was so close (yet so far away). But, all that would've done for my life would be something to put on my "resume" to apply to colleges...and that probably would've gotten me nowhere special.

Regina Spektor--Fidelity
I remember blasting this song on repeat when I was packing up last year to go home for Thanksgiving Break. I probably left about an hour later than I normally would have had I not been dancing and singing around my room!
It also reminds me of the episode of Veronica Mars (where I was introduced to it and hated it...I later learned I loved it) where her and Logan sneak off to make out in the library...and how much I miss that show.

Any other songs that remind you of anything?

No longer a problem, my furry tailed friend.

2008-04-22T21:42:00.000-07:00

My grandma gave me a TooTall chocolate bunny for Easter. His ears stuck out about 2 inches above the top of the box...and his feet were 2 inches from the bottom...so clearly he was not too tall, but the box was poorly made.

Well, I guess height is no longer an issue, Too Tall! Mwahaha.

Maybe this is why I dreamed of killing a small bunny in my dream the other night. It was really quite disturbing and sad.

I clean up a little nicer than this.

2008-04-17T09:54:00.000-07:00

Before the school year ends, we have to do these final presentations of a project we did throughout the semester. This week were the presentations, and you do them with your group. The teacher instructed us to do a formal business-like presentation, and therefore we were to dress nicely.

I already did mine on Tuesday, so I was just a member of the audience today.

Before class began, one of the groups was running through their presentation to make sure they had their transitions all worked out and met the required time limit. After their mock presentation, one of the guys in the group comes up to me and politely asks "Hey, do you mind if we go first presenting today? We just want to get it over with." And I told him I had already presented Tuesday, and that I therefore do not care if he goes first, because I am just an audience member today.

I look at his suit, crisply ironed, with a starched white shirt underneath, and a tie that has a Windsor knot that would put any GQ editor to shame.
I then look down to my frayed jeans, my 3-year-old dirty frayed Converse, and my heather-grey shirt I have had since 5th grade that reads "class of '99!"
I then ask, "I hope this is not what you think is my definition of 'business-like attire.'"

Then a couple of my friends showed up as this conversation was happening, and Adam laughed as the guy walked away and I said "I clean up a little nicer than this."
Then Evan jokingly commented "maybe it was the necklace," referring to my $2 clearance, plastic round-beaded necklace, which while it is pretty awesome, would definitely not hint at a well-thought out plan for my wardrobe choice for the day.

2008-04-15T21:33:00.000-07:00

Why does having to sign up for classes have to be so difficult? There are so many things to take into account.

the class counts for something (major, CORE, minor)
the class is at a reasonable time
the class is interesting
the teacher is good
the class doesn't interfere with another class scheduling (whether it be at the same time or at a different campus and transportation time must be allowed)
pre-requisites to sign up for the class

That being said...I have spent an hour looking at classes and have one picked out so far.

Spanish Words.

2008-04-15T19:23:00.000-07:00

Some words in foreign languages just don't seem to connotate the action/thing they are representing. Perhaps it is just because I learned English first.

For example, when I think of the word "sparkle", I think of a pretty little star, twinkling in the sky. Or glitter. Or a pretty dress. Or a diamond. Something beautiful.

The word for "sparkle" in Spanish is "relampaguea" (ray-lahm-pah-GAY-uh)

When I hear "relampaguea" I think of regurgitated cafeteria food. I dunno, I just don't see something all pretty and twinkly with the word "RELAMPAGUEA!!!!!"

Next, I would like to say I have found a new word in my (Spanish) dictionary that I hope to be able to use soon.

This word is "jilipollada" (hil-ee-poy-YA-dah) which means "silly thing to do" or "stupid thing to say"
Or, according to my dictionary, if I use it in the way "esos son jilipolleces" it means "that's a lot of bull."

Lo siento, esto es jilipollez.

Thinking out loud, edition 2

2008-04-15T13:39:00.000-07:00

"Naw, I am not in the mood for eggrolls today."

My My Hey Hey

2008-04-14T11:10:00.001-07:00

I was listening to Neil Young's "My My Hey Hey" today, and as he sang the famous lyrics:

It's better to burn out

Than to fade away

It made me think...did Britney Spears burn out or fade away? I mean, it was a gradual spiral, right? Or do you think she just had a huge burnout?

What are the odds?

2008-04-10T14:57:00.000-07:00

I just dropped a nickel and it landed on its edge.

WHAT ARE THE CHANCES?

I am going to take this as a bad omen.

Things that make me laugh

2008-04-10T14:53:00.000-07:00

From an article yesterday on collegehumor.com :

"I'm a million years old!" exclaimed Summitt's mother after Pat's eighth title.