huh?

I was wondering why Indiana Beach was advertising facial injections in their radio commercials until I realized Botox rhymes with "boat docks."

Shirley on the rocks, please

"Can I see your ID please? Oh, wait, you mean Sprite and grenadine, nevermind."

--The waitress today at TGI Friday's after I ordered a Shirley Temple.

What's the opposite of twitterpated?

Yesterday I went to Borders with my dad so he could pick up a book on how to work his new Blackberry Storm.

In the same section of the store were technology and computer books.

I was ashamed at humanity when I came across a book about Twitter.

How could a book about Twitter be more than three pages long?

I flipped through it, and the first 30 pages or so (the first chapter) was about how to start a Twitter. Can you not just log on? Is it that difficult that you need a novel to instruct you? I feel like a Twitter could TELL YOU how to WORK Twitter.

Then, later in the book was a section about how to search for Twitters. The example they gave was "Pinot Noir" and following it was a list of sample Twitters that contained the words "Pinot Noir."
Who would need to search Twitter's database for a snippet only 170 characters long? Of what possible importance could that be?

One of the sample search results was from "Joe" and said "Eating dinner on the patio with a fine novel and Pinot Noir in hand!"


Wow, good thing I know how to search for this kind of stuff. I was just about to forget what Joe was doing at 5pm on Sunday.

The World Simulator

If I had this projected on the wall of my house, or a huge screen of it in my house, I would feel like some kind of superior being.


It simulates birth and death rates, as well as CO2 emissions.

The birth/death thing alone amazes me. Look at India! NON STOP BABIES.

www.breathingearth.net/

Da Bulls

I was clearing out old documents from my computer today, and came across this gem...



My friend Alex and I entered a contest to win free tickets to the Bulls last season.

The contest was to win a free private suite for a bunch of games.

Unfortunately, the contest required you to write 11 reasons WHY you wanted the tickets.

Therefore, I came up with the idea to do a bunch of puns with the word "suite" in them.

And this was the sad, sad result.





Because a suite would be SWEET!

I can't wait to see my favorite team from suite home Chicago.

I can't wait for some suite talk with the XRT folks!

I'm suite for Tyrus Thomas!

I want to see the team's suite moves up close!

Because my friend didn't take me to the Bulls game she went to last year and REVENGE WOULD BE SUITE.

It'd be suite to see the Bulls stomp the Nets.

Being broke ain't suite, but going to a game for free IS!

I'll have suite dreams knowing I have tickets to the Bulls game.

I'm hoping all this suite-talk will get me there!

Who got the tix, baby
Who got the only suite-est thing in the world?
Who got the seats, who got the private suite?
Who got the only suite-est thing in the world?